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Relationships by Johnny Lin

"Dating", "Going Out", "Going Steady", Having a "Girlfriend", I have no idea what the differences between each term is, but apparently for girls, they do. But to me, it is all the same. Recently at school, I have expressed my views on having a relationship with a girl and it has befuddled my friends. The only people who would understand would be my fellow church friends and "X-men" (SHout Out to my Boys from Camp Impact). So first of all, alot of people already know I won't date in high school simply because i think its pointless and eventually leads into drama. I try to avoid drama at all costs. I don't believe in love in high school. But what about those people who dated during high school and eventually got married?? I believe during their high school years, it's called puppy love, it is only after a few years that pup love will mature into a real legit love. Teenagers are definitely also too immature and careless to take of someone's feelings or emotions especially when it is known fact people are known to be selfish people, its human nature, humans always look out for number one first. I'm not selfish you say..or are you? If you have a certain preference for a mate, you are a selfish person.

The number 1 reason im not dating yet is cause im already in another relationship. My relationship with God. I don't believe Christianity is a religion, it's a personal relationship with our Lord. Until i am mature with my walk in Christ and sure of myself of where i stand, then will I let someone close into my life. How can a person take care of someone, when his own life is unstable?

Also, when i do finally date i do hope my first girlfriend will also be my wife. How will i find this girl you say? Through observation and patience. My second entry on Xanga explains my theory on just that. I think too many people act upon hormones and impulses, and the first person they "think" they really like or become attracted to, they immediately assume "I must hook up with him or her". WRONG quit contemplating with your body and start using your brain and heart. Observe the person you like for a while, and i mean AWHILE. And observe this person, her/his characteristics the way she/he interacts do you really want to get with them? There's many more things to look for, but i can't name them all, it depends on prefence. During this period of observation, somethings may occur i.e. person you like starts dating someone else or your feelings suddenly fades...hey if God really wanted you to date this person he would eventually break them up and let you in right? Dude, Johnny, you will never find that perfect girl...People!! (addressed especially Tommy), I know a whole different crowd of girls who dont go out and date for "fun" or have already lost their virginity or sexually active (thats preposterous). For example, my "gurl" friends at church (shout out to my "gurl" friends), you guys are so tight yo. I have so much respect for my "gurl" friends at church, their views on dating is somewhat similar to mine.

Now on to my ideal relationship. Of course i will talk about this with my girlfriend and hopefully it will be mutual. This idea has also totally bewildered my school friends: I will not kiss my girlfriend til marriage. Yes it does sound crazy and unbelieveably hard, but it is possible. My motivation behind that is just the thought of how wonderful and amazing that kiss at the alter will be after waiting for all those years and months. I will probably kiss my wife for several minutes and make the pastor and audience wait during our wedding..haha. If i find the right christian girl, im sure we can pull each other through it and keep ourselves pure and accountable. Our relationships will consist of just holding hands, holding each other, hugs and maybe a kiss on the cheek when we get real romantic haha sounds cheesy huh? I do have to admit i have done somethings in the past that has affected my purity, but ever since camp and my baptism, i've decided to live a life as pure as possible. So abstinence is definitely a yes in Johnny's life, for the people who say "You can say you believe in abstinence, but you can never be sure of it", I say to that...whoever breaks there own beliefs especially one as important as abstinence had no strive or consistency to keep it in the first place.

My view on girls are also this (derived from Pastor Kwon (friggin wise pastor..almost sounds like Yoda or Jesus himself when he preaches)): Girls aren't like vending machine you choose which one best suits you. Just choose which one you prefer or "flavor" and pick them. It's almost like when people say "you have to date several times to see which you like best, and you'll learn from experience" O heck no, its practically a fact that with every person you date in the past it will only hurt your future spouse. The more you date, the more your spouse will feel he or she will have to live up to certain expectations. Plus, its like giving your ex's 10% percent of your heart, then your husband or wife only 90%. Emotional attachments will always be there from past exs. Unless you went into that relationship for "fun" or a "fling", which is just a big no-no and pointless. FYI Johnny thinks all the TV shows concerned with dating are despicable and funny at the same time. All those guys are 100% percent horny and obviously have no idea on how to NOT offend a girl.

posted by Justin at 11:49 PM