Sullivan's Steakhouse. 'Nuff said.

It's 2:00 a.m. and I have a diffeq quiz/test in 12 hours, but I feel very motivated to post this.

*sigh*

I saw the Passion on Saturday with my discipleship group. After viewing it, I didn't feel too much, but thought the impact would come later.

It's 3 days later. Still nothing.

Nothing?? How could this be? Jesus is supposed to be my very best friend, and I finally have a visual image of his suffereing for me, for you, for mankind, and yet I feel nothing?

I know that every person is different in that certain things affect some more than others. But still, little tear-jerking, a little tug on the heart strings would have been nice to making me feel a little human. Instead, I feel more like a robotic calculator, in which i see things in 1's and 0's.

Okay, so I did flinch when they were whipping him...but that's it. My expectations of the film was to come out of it teary-eyed crying, thinking, praying "I love God. I love Him, I love Him, I love Him". Instead, I come out critically, asking myself "what was the point of this movie?" All that visual stimulation (it was a lot, i acknowledge that) had no effect. Right after the movie, I had a 70% inclination to just go "okay, so where do you guys want to eat?"

This goes against everything I ever thought my identity was. Something I have been trying to do is to discover what kind of person God created me to be, and I live it. I will live a life as close as God planned it to be, and I will be the man God created me to be, and nothing else.

I thought I was emotional. I thought I had the gift of understanding one's situation, the quality of empathy.

*sigh*

I think I'll just leave this open ended, up in the air.

On a lighter note, Spring break is coming. And with spring break is bundled Lindyfest. I bet it is going to be fun.

***edit*** I guess I'm just more complex than I thought I was. I don't feel like I'm sub-human, but I do feel weirded out that I'm not feeling what the "norm" felt.
posted by Justin at 2:24 AM